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Lore Challenges[]

Searching... Trigger bonus damage from Eins, Zwei, Die 250 times.
To Serve Man Hasten allies with Temporial Distortion 100 times.
Hobo Eradication Protocol Deal 6,000 damage in a single match with Bindleblast 5 times.
More Robot Rebellion Deal 100,000 damage with Predatory Strike.
Overprotective Complete 3 matches while on the same team as Phoebe.

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--== HEMSWORTH P.R.I.M LAB LOG SERVICE y.19954, d.100 --== MAGNUS DUMP of TDVI.m-v. #455, S.N. 7474133780085 --== FILTER: HIGH LEVEL PRIORITY ENTRIES __________________________________________________________________________________________________

13:32:46 – [MONITORING] ACTIVITY.HEMSWORTH.PHOEBE – ETIQUETTE LESSONS WITH MADAME MARSIPALLIUM.

Evaluation: 27.3% chance of successful cultural skill acquisition

Notable Audio Log:

M.MARSIPALLIUM: Young lady, we do NOT wave knives about in that manner! P.HEMSWORTH: It is critical for me to test the balance of this prototype vibro-knife. M.MARSIPALLIUM: Not for an heiress, and NOT at the dinner table!

Commentary: Recommend curriculum adjustment for P.HEMSWORTH to include evasion tactics.


13:44:53 – [MONITORING] MAG-NET.JENNNAR.BATTLE_OF – STATUS OF THE BATTLE BETWEEN RENDAIN AND THE FORCES OF EMPRESS LENORE

Update: Empress's Imperial cruiser overtaken by Rendain's forces. Rendain has boarded the cruiser.

Expected Outcome: Battle ended in favor of Rendain.


13:44:57 – [INPUT] ACTIVITY.HEMSWORTH.PHOEBE – INCOMING AUDITORY REQUEST

Notable Audio Log:

P.HEMSWORTH: Marquis, Marquis! I need you to run calibration tests on the sonic emitter for this blade. It appears I have cut through your owl's foot, which is NOT included in the default set of programmed sliceable surfaces.

Evaluation: 62.1% chance of repairable damage to OWL.HOODINI.14235

Evaluation: 98.2% chance of irreparable damage to CURRICULUM.ETIQUETTE.LESSON_002

SEARCHING... SEARCHING...

PROCESS_ACTION: Release M.MARSIPALLIUM; suspected hobo-ism.


13:46:34 – [INPUT] ACTIVITY.HEMSWORTH.PHOEBE – INCOMING AUDIO

Notable Audio Log:

P.HEMSWORTH: Perhaps I can fix this. M.MARSIPALLIUM: Stop this at once! This is NOT PROPER dinner etiquette for a Young Mistress Hemsworth! OWL.HOODINI.14235: Hoot. [sound of gyro-oscillator housing being pried off with a butter knife]

Evaluation: Dispatch delivery of OWL.HOODINI.14236. Request improvement: Refinement of joint seam around gyro-oscillator housing.


13:47:22 – [MONITORING] OWL.HOODINI.14235 – STATUS MONITOR

SEARCHING... Location EIN SEARCHING... Location ZWEI SEARCHING...


13:47:23 – [CONNECTION FAILURE] MAG-NET.CONNECTION_LOST

13:42:24 – [RECONNECTING] MAG-NET.CONNECTION_REGAINED MESSAGE_ATTACHED: “BEGIN GREAT SEVERANCE PROTOCOL, TIME 300 SECONDS. COUNTDOWN BEGIN.” SENDER_MAGNA_CARTA

13:47:28 – [MONITORING] MAG-NET.JENNNAR.BATTLE_OF – STATUS OF THE BATTLE BETWEEN RENDAIN AND THE FORCES OF EMPRESS LENORE

Update: Anomaly event in the Jennar system.

M.TDVI_RESPONE: ASTROLOCATION_PLANET.JENNAR SEARCHING... No results. SEARCHING... No results. SEARCHING... Conclusion: Location NOT FOUND


13:47:29 – [CONNECTION FAILURE] MAG-NET. CONNECTION_TERMINATED

13:47:39 – [CONNECTION LOST] SEARCHING FOR RESOLUTION...

14:47:39 – [CONNECTION LOST] SEARCHING FOR RESOLUTION...

19:47:39 – [CONNECTION LOST] SEARCHING FOR RESOLUTION...

23:59:59 – [RESOLUTION] TERMINATE EMPLOYMENT

23:59:59.1 – ACTIVATE PROTOCOL: HOBO_ERADICATION

To Serve Man

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--== ARCSHIP P.R.I.M.: HEMSWORTH MANUFACTURY --== R&D REQUEST A.I.: TDVI.m-v.#455 – “Titanium Dandy Mk.VI” --== PROTOTYPE MAGNUS: PERSONAL SERVICE LINE --== REQUEST FOR: BARTLEBY HEMSWORTH _______________________________________________________________________________

Sentients and Artificiants –

It has long been the practice of our esteemed federation of labor to improve and employ crafted intelligences – Magnuses – for use in oversight, maintenance, and management of many of our operations and enterprises.

I, G. R. Bartlesby Hemsworth, hereby formally request an adaptation of the “Magnus” prototype for smaller scale deployment.

Yes, it is true that sophisticated artificial intelligences have walked among us for hundreds of years. With the Magnuses, we have connected those intelligences back to our greatest accomplishment as an Arcfleet – the Magna Carta – who now serves as our central agent of governance and economic oversight.

Now – imagine Magnuses, each of them connected uniquely to the Magna Carta as is their mark of distinction, able to apply that connectedness to daily life within the fleet.

They could be far more than simple coordinators of trade compacts and fleet movements. They could provide personal financial assistance. Aid in research. Protect our families. Perform some acts of maintenance and schedulekeeping. And yes... even provide companions for us and our children!

I dub this line of personalized Magnus the “Marquis”, and I wish to advance immediately to prototyping, the result of which will be tested within the Hemsworth family Arcship.

Please conform to the physical specifications of the “Titanium Dandy” line of automatons. I believe this new “Magnus” version will put the model series number at “VI”.

A final note – please assure that the Magnus personality matrix selected represents the Hemsworth ideals of wealth, sound financial planning, and integration into the highest tiers of our society. I would also consider it a personal boon should the “Marquis” also be skilled in marksmanship, as I do enjoy the occasional hunt.

Sincerely, G.R. Bartlesby Hemsworth II

Hobo Eradication Protocol

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--== ARCSHIP HEMSWORTH ARMS: HEMSWORTH SMALL ARMS MANUFACTORY --== R&D REQUEST: ARMAMENT AUGMENTATION --== SUBJECT: “MY CANE IS TO BE A GUN” --== REQUEST FOR: MARQUIS HEMSWORTH-D'CALIBER, ESQ. ________________________________________________________________

(Audio attached, transcript below.)


To Hemsworth Arms R&D: Hello! This is Marquis d'Caliber, and I wish to report what appears to be a GRAVE design flaw in my cane. Anonymous research monkey, brace yourself: my cane is not a gun.

Shocking, I know. But true! I have examined my cane thoroughly. I have reviewed the design schematics on file at the intellectual property archives, and – perhaps most damningly – I have pointed my cane at the financially-destitute, shouted “bang!”, and they did not explode into blood and dirt! No matter how many times I tried. My dear research monkey: this will not do!

I can hear your objections now. “But Marquis,” you belch, “Why not wield it as a club and bludgeon liberal arts majors into unemployable paste?” Such a strategy is... possible, but inadvisable. The risks associated with exposure to poor people cooties and patchouli stink are too great. No. There is only one solution to this problem: my cane is to be a gun!

It must be a symbol of class. Distinction. It must excel in the eradication of hobos and hobomorphic entities. It must be gold-plated, so that it might accesorize with my gold-plated victory yacht. And it shall be called: “BINDLEBANE”. Now get to work, research monkey! Ooh! Wait! WAIT! Two guns. Put another gun on my gun. Yes! YES!

(Marquis laughs maniacally.)

More Robot Rebellion
ARMAMENT EVALUATION

TOPIC: "HOODINI" - MECHANICAL OWL OF MARQUIS D'CALIBER

from THE RED OBSERVER on y.19956, d.101

//AUDIO TRANSCRIPTION DRONE ENABLED//

Freaky piled upon freaky. For now, I won't talk about how much it creeps me out that robots are building robots. The Arcfleet Tradelords have been doing that for years. I'll stick to Armament Evaluation (my first). Here are my notes on Hoodini, the Explosive Owl used by Marquis d'Caliber in battle.

From what I can gather by chatting with Phoebe E.A. Hemsworth, Marquis crafted the owl to amuse young Phoebe. Apparently, she was the one who named the owl "Hoodini". According to Phoebe, Marquis spent a fair amount of his unassigned time tinkering on the owl.

When the Magna Carta - that big LLC AI that used to run things - cut itself off (c.f. "THE GREAT SEVERANCE"), Marquis was processing some technical upgrades for the owl and sort of... well... got stuck. I guess that's the psychic hazard of being overly attached.

Some additional recon by yours truly has uncovered a small unmarked Arcship (believed to be an abadoned Minion Robotics facility) that has been re-purposed to the mass production of "Hoodinis". And get this - they're being altered. Some cloak. Some of laser eyes. Some are capable of on-field molecular replication (in other words, they split apart into multiple owls).

Marquis may have been cut off from the Magna Carta, but it is my belief that his spare networking bandwidth now goes to directing this little side project of his.

Mellka, out.

// AUDIO DRONE DISENGAGED //

Overprotective

ARCSHIP P.R.I.M: HEMSWORTH FAMILY ARCSHIP


SUBJECT: RE: "RESIGNATION"


FROM: MAQRQUIS HEMSWORTH-D'CALIBER, ESQ.


Dear Lord BAH_WHO_CARES,


I have received your most generous and kind request to accept my resignation. I must quickly and wholeheartedly REFUSE your acceptance of my resignation. 


I have reviewed your credentials as Lord of the Hemsworth guildfleet, and have subsequently deemed you OWL_HATING_HOBO_HUMAN inadequate of receiving or duly acting upon any request offered by someone of my GODLIKE_AND_SUPREME station.


Therefore, I will continue my service to your UTTERLY_HOBOLIKE_AND_MEAT-CLOTHED family, especially to that of your ALMOST_WORTHY_OF_MY_DISCARDED_FLUIDS daughter Phoebe, who I have dutifully served AND_WAS_UNDERPAID for these eighteen years.


Lord DOESN'T_KNOW_HIS_OWN_ACCOUNT_PASSCODES Hemsworth, as I have taken on new AND_EXTREMELY_SATISFYING_HOBO_HUNTING services in your employ, I will also be reviewing my SOON_TO_BE_DRAMATICALLY_INCREASED wages. 


I am sure that you understand my position AS_MUCH_AS_YOUR_POOR_MEATBUCKET_BRAIN_CAN, and will make no further attempts to accept my resignation I_AM_COUNTING_EIN_ZWEI.


Yours truly AND_VASTLY_SUPERIOR,


Marquis D'Caliber

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