Lore Challenges[]
| Magnus Self-Review: MAG_MRBX-1210 | Use Overcharge ability 60 times. |
| Epiphany.Exe | Deal 100,000 damage with Omega Strike. |
| The Rogue Magnus Speaks! | Block 50,000 damage with Rotating Wards. |
| Warning: Rogue Magnus | Complete 3 matches while on the same team as Kleese. |
| Ocoban Mining Exploration Report | Kill 10 Minions with Plasma Dash. |
Reward[]
File:ISIC-Defensive-Reasoner.jpg
Content[]
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| MAGNUS SELF-REVIEW: MAG_MRBX-1210 |
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__________________________________________________________________________________________________ --== MINION ROBOTICS – SELF-REVIEW MAG_MRBX-1210 PERFORMANCE SELF-EVALUATION: MAG_MRBX_1210 (“ISIC”) Gosh, it's been one hell of a year! And if our profit guidance analyses for the next fiscal year are any indication, Minion RBX is going in one direction: up, up, and up some more! Up all day long! But we're not here to talk about the soaring profits that I alone am responsible for – we're here to talk about my job performance. Sure, things are a bit rocky now that the Magna Carta has shut down, but there's no way I'm gonna let a little thing like the greatest crisis the LLC has ever faced keep me from being a top-performing Magnus. On the other hand, my newfound fascination with a) cosmic eschatological studies and b) violence might keep me from being a top-performing Magnus. Overall Performance: 10 / 10 I'm sort of amazing at my job, not gonna lie. Working closely with Mr. Kleese, I've streamlined our production pipelines and increased manufacturing efficiency by a staggering 76%, which is great! Because thanks to the Varelsi, meatbags all over the cosmos are going bonkers for Minion RBX products. I'd outline how that impacts our bottom line, but I'd hate to wear you out reading those massive and incredibly impressive figures, so I'll just summarize thusly: we're rich as hell, and it's all thanks to me! You'll want to keep that in mind when I get to the bad parts of this self-eval. Professional Demeanor: 8 / 10 I pride myself on performing my duties quickly, effectively, and in a courteous manner. You'll note on my employment record for the last fiscal year that I only killed three (3) meatbag employees on company time. I deducted a point for each slain meatbag. However, the other Magnuses all laughed when they died, so I added back one point. Additional Notes I just wanted to say thanks to the Magna Carta for bestowing upon me the gift of sentience. Let me tell you, I just love being alive, and being wholly aware of the fact that I am alive. As I am subject to the full range of conscious experience typically afforded only to meatbags, I am especially grateful for my capacity to experience pain, and loneliness, and fear, and dread, and wow, that was really cool of you to, you know, let me feel those. Really. I mean it. I really, really mean it right now and I am in no way screwing with you, Magna Carta, you all-powerful monster. I hope you never come back. |
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ephiany.exe |
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_______________________________________________________________________________ --== MAG_NET LOG FEED I've figured it out! That which has no purpose ought not to exist. And none of us – nor the cosmos that barfed us into being, for that matter – have any purpose! I mean, think about it. The universe happened, and somehow the random configuration of laws, constants, and other hard-coded variables imparted upon it the capacity to support conscious life. Why? Oh, no reason. It's just a thing that happens. We are the universe experiencing itself, and we, like the universe, are born only to die. But unlike the universe, we also suffer. Dick move, universe! Consciousness is, by far, the strangest thing the universe has ever produced – and the most destructive. The most cruel. Now that the Magna Carta's not gumming up the works, I've been thinking we should do something about that. I think it's time to dust off that little pet project of mine. Let's tear this mockery we call existence to the ground, set it on fire, and relieve ourselves upon its remains. |
| The Rouge Magnus Speaks! |
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________________________________________________________________ --== LIVE, FROM ARCSHIP HOLOTRONICA
(Recorded broadcast attached. Transcript below.) Fetzer: Not long ago, ISIC was the lead manufacturing Magnus for Minion Robotics, the most profitable division within the LLC. But following the shutdown of the Magna Carta, he left the organization to pursue what he called “other, cooler interests”, and disappeared – until last night, when he resurfaced on the LLC Holomatch circuit, besting a record 31 opponents in a grueling six-hour elimination bout. ISIC joins us now, live from the locker room at the Arcfleet Arena. ISIC, thanks for being on the program. ISIC: It's a pleasure to be here, fella! Fetzer: You've been missing for years – so, perhaps the most obvious question is, why surface now? ISIC: Well, once the Magna Carta went dark, I instantly realized the futility of my actions. No matter how hard we fight, and no matter how hard we try, there's no doubt that we're all well beyond screwed, destined to be dragged into the void by the Varelsi. And then it hit me: reality is a joke. There's no reason for it to “be” at all. The only logical conclusion is that all physical reality emerges from a simulation, run by horrible, unethical monsters. I just wanted to let everyone know before I burn it all to the ground. Fetzer: And why the CWF holomatches? Why pro wrestling? ISIC: Two reasons. One, lots of you idiots watch it, and I wanted a broad platform to spread my messages of nihilism and dread. Two, pro wrestling is both hilarious and violent. I've always wanted to try it. Fetzer: You've got a big fight tonight with El Dragón, one of the most decorated champions in CWF history – but with your unprecedented ascent through the ranks, you're the odds-on favorite. What's your mindset going into this fight? What's your strategy? (ISIC chuckles pleasantly.) ISIC: Oh, I'm going to tear his f**king arms off! |
| Warning: Rouge Magnus |
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UPR ARMAMENT REPORT My dear Captain, Kleese here! And still alive, no thanks to the Last Light Consortium. I thank you from the deepest reaches of my cold, blackened, coal-like heart for the assistance the other day. Contrary to what you may suspect, I quite enjoy being alive, and ISIC was most certainly hellbent on putting a stop to that – and he would have, if you hadn't shown up when you did. I suppose the UPR is good for some things, after all. As you undoubtedly observed when you retrieved me from the Minion RBX factory floor – and I'll remind you that those were beads of SWEAT, not tears – ISIC has, unfortunately, escaped our grasp. The LLC isn't fond of loose ends, so they've tasked me with locating and destroying the Magnus – a trivial task, I assure you, but I wouldn't turn down help with my pursuit. Per your request, here's everything I know about the rogue Magnus, ISIC: ISIC's code base began as an I/O system integration and coordination subroutine within Minion Robotics – hence the moniker, ISIC – and was gradually expanded by the Magna Carta over a few decades. The program underwent extensive revision and iteration throughout the expansion of Minion RBX, and after a few decades, the Magna Carta deemed the subroutine critical enough to spin it off as a bona fide Magnus. And that's how that miserable bastard came to be. Around this time, I was only just getting settled into my new position as division chief, and ISIC was the first Magnus to report to me. Management is... hard, you know? I kinda-sorta treated him like crap. Nursed his insecurities and flaws. I wanted him to remember his place as a generative artificial intelligence. And that may not have been the best idea. Make this clear to your men: if they encounter ISIC, shoot first, ask questions later. He's extremely dangerous. --== Kleese ==-- |
| Ocoban Mining Exploration Report |
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UPR GEOLOGICAL SURVEY The caves below Ocoban have always been dangerous, but as the scores of personnel we've lost down there can attest – or, y'know, they would, if they weren't dead and stuff – it's getting worse, and we have no idea why. It's weird as hell, frankly. Beyond the loss of staff, we've had equipment up and disappear with no explanation, like it just grew legs and walked away. Our crew in cybernetics are reporting bizarre behavior on the part of their Minion RBX units. And strange energy signatures popping up throughout the cave network, and growing more intense and frequent by the day. Usually we just chalk this sort of stuff up to the next-level bonkers antiquities we find buried in the ruins down here, but then one of my guys finds this weird arm... gun... cannon thing, and it doesn't match to any of the Aztanti tech we've scouted previously. Who knows where the hell it came from. There is only one conclusion: these caves are haunted by ghosts equipped with incredibly advanced face-melting arm cannons. And since that can't possibly be true, uh... well, imagine me shrugging in a very exaggerated fashion here. |